Linden Leaf The internal combustion engine rattles into silence and I get out of the white rental Škoda fabia. The drive didn’t clear out all the dead leaves. Yellow-brown, speckled with red-black and grey blotches. I rake them out from the car’s cowl with my hands and they let them fall like a shower of […]
Island, Tuesday 19 July, 2022 I floated off — beach, by the — resort. A rectangle of yellow foam floats quartered off a section of shallow water for us bathers. It was early. I was alone. I swam to the outer reach of that salt water quadrangle and caught the float rope. It was slick, […]
A week ago, as I was finishing the writing on my largest game* to date, I posted a twitter thread about my insecurity and imposter experience, and how I had downplayed (sabotaged, even) my own work. Thread: https://twitter.com/stratometaship/status/1536318473177284609 The writing is now basically finished. Usually, after I finished a writing project, I felt a melancholia, […]
A meditation on time and perception, as reflected through my experiences of a childhood shaped by my father’s dominating presence.
far from homelong awayits words grow strangeits whys go strayit’s ghostsghosts i say A lot of word salad as I try to untangle my thoughts about why Slovenia’s response to the Ukraine crisis and other world-stuff feels so weird from my Ausgänger vantage point. Day 97 The criminal Russian invasion of their neighbouring smaller sovereign […]
On injuries physical and metaphysical, and the delusions woven by experience and the desire for approval.
Me: “It’s lovely weather, it would be nice to go and write in a nice cafe, next to a brook. Trees, sky, water. Bit of inspiration.” Me2: “Well, you’ve walked the dog, and shaved, and cleaned the apartment, and you’ve got plenty of time, that would be reasonable. After all, you get more and better […]
By our attention, we bear witness to our universe. Good and Smart Since my childhood I’d equated being informed and knowledgeable with being good and smart. Patterns of being learned at my father’s knee. As I grew older, I realised this was largely his way of coping with a hostile world. As a child, my […]
Donate This blog post is long and random. I ramble. If you want to skip all that nonsense and just help Ukraine, which continues to fight valiantly against the evil Russian invasion, consider one of the options presented by the excellent historian Timothy Snyder on his substack. Diary The war in Ukraine continues. Day by […]
There is a mood I often struggle with, a variant of the procrastination daemon. A sluggardly daemon. I’ve done the things I needed to do. I can do the thing I want to do. Gears clash and grind. The sluggard pops out of its box and begins to chatter. “You want to go there?” “Isn’t […]